Cupcakes and Ignorance? Reader Rant Sunday

In response to the very insensitive Reader Rant (the hyperlink to the Rant follows my letter) about homemade cupcakes and food allergies in Sunday’s January 24, 2010 Virginian-Pilot, I sent the following:

January 26, 2010
In response to R E A D E R R A N T “Cupcakes and paranoia” By Ms. Haws of Norfolk:
You are correct, something as minor as cupcakes should NOT set you off. Food allergies are something my family and millions of other families manage EVERY DAY. My son was diagnosed six years ago with severe allergies to peanuts, tree nuts and coconut. Having baked goods from a ‘well meaning’ mother could cause a reaction in my child starting with hives and itching, then progressing into trouble breathing and anaphylactic
shock. Without proper treatment, this can result into death. So yes, to confirm your suspicions, your homemade treats just may contain peanut products and harm children with peanut allergies. Your beautiful cupcakes could kill my child.
In an effort to keep my child safe, I have spent numerous hours educating teachers, caretakers, family and friends to supply correct information, not hype or ‘paranoia’ as you stated. I have found most people to be warm, understanding and responsive to the materials and support provided. Making a few considerations, keeps my child included in school celebrations, friends’ parties, sports activities and church programs.
There are many ways to celebrate birthdays and other special events and holidays, that don’t involve foods. I applaud the smart educational institution that your son attends for their no baked goods rule. Most public and private schools do not have a standard policy for food allergies. There is no consistent legislation. Many schools impose rules to protect their students as well as to cover themselves legally.
For the record, my son can eat lunch in a Virginia Beach school system cafeteria five days a week successfully.  I maintain a communicative relationship with the cafeteria manager and together we keep my son safe.  One important safety measure the school cafeteria takes is avoiding cross contact between foods. Let me explain. If you prepare a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, dipping a knife into the peanut butter jar and then into the jelly jar without properly sanitizing the knife first, the jelly jar then contains peanut
protein, making the jelly unsafe for someone with an allergy to peanuts. The knife must be washed with soap and water between uses, as merely wiping it off will not remove the allergens. The same principle is applied to all cooking utensils, baking sheets, bowls, and mixers, even your hands. Wiping hands off with a towel or using hand sanitizer is not sufficient.
Unfortunately, I don’t know how well-meaning parents clean or maintain their kitchen and cooking utensils, and therefore a homemade treat may be dangerous for children with food allergies, such as my son.
Interestingly enough, what you call a minority are over 12 million people in the United States which includes an estimated three million children, many of whom live in the Hampton Roads area. Last October, over 350 children and adults walked at Mount Trashmore to raise money for the Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN) to fund a cure for food allergies. I would like to personally invite you to join our effort.
With your help, we can find a cure and our heartache (both yours and mine) would be over. If we find a cure, then my child stays alive and you get to serve your homemade strawberry cupcakes. In the meantime, I sincerely hope your family never has to deal with a tragic situation as a result of others’ ignorance and insensitivity.

Nicole Newsome
Volunteer Walk Chair
FAAN Walk for Food Allergy 2009
Cupcakes and Paranoia, The Virginian-Pilot, Sunday, January 24, 2010

Doing vs. Being

Are you a doer?   You go, go, go and do, do, do without really stopping?  Sometimes you are so busy that you don’t even enjoy what you are doing.  You know you should be, but you are not.  I have been there and I have done that.  If I had to choose one good thing about my diagnosis, it would be that I am “being” more than doing now.  It takes a conscious effort and at times not easy, but well worth it.

How do you effectively ‘be’?  Well, it starts before the moment.  You empower yourself with the decision of being in the situation, event or relationship.  Making a decision to say NO is just as important when you really don’t want to do something.  Why drag yourself through when you will be resentful in the long run?  Why have family, friends and coworkers miserable because you were not honest with yourself and them?  One of my favorite books is “No is a Complete Sentence” by Megan LeBoutillier. I read this book over ten years ago and it is a good one.  The premise is that you do not have to feel bad or guilty with saying NO.

I have found myself enjoying more people, events and meetings because I have chosen to BE there.  When I am fully being, it is a wonderful awareness.  I am doing less.  I am ‘being’ more.

Don’t just do it.  Just be!

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

There are so many!  I am completely madly in love with my husband.  I have never felt so consumed with emotion about one person.  He is passionate about me, our children, his faith, work and life.  I love his positive attitude and trust in mankind.  Steve is the ultimately believer in giving people the benefit of the doubt.  He truly fells that people are innately good.  I have learned so much from him over our years together.

April 1, 2010 will be our 10th wedding anniversary.  It is exciting to think we are approaching this milestone.  Our vows mean more today than ever before:  for better, for worse, richer, poorer, sickness, health.  I am so thankful to have such an amazing partner, best friend and lover in my life.  He has been right beside me through all of my health concerns.  I know it is not easy and I appreciate his patience and tender loving care.  I equally appreciate his tough love.  He calls me out when I need an attitude adjustment or am being snippy (I am quite good at snippy!).

So, how do I love thee?  To the sun and back.  Forever and ever, AMEN!

It’s been a long time

As most of you know, I took a hiatus from updating this site.  I could tell you I was busy or I had other pressing things and that is somewhat true.  Let me be honest.  The past two months have been hard.  I have really been struggling with a severely impaired immune system thanks to lymphoma.  I have worked through multiple colds, sinus infections (yes, that is plural) and influenza.  Boy, does being sick all the time get old!  I am beginning to appreciate my friends and family that have chronic health conditions.  You always deal with it – whatever your ‘it’ may be.  And some days are better than others.

Basically, I have been feeling sorry for myself.  That was okay, but today is a new day – December 1.  It is time to move on, move forward.  The first day of a new month and the first day of the rest of my life.  Onward upward.

What can I do to build my immune system?  What do I have control over in my life and illness?  Surprisingly, quite a lot!  So let’s look at some important factors to create strength within ourselves: 5 easy ways to improve immune system:  1. Adequate sleep (7-9 hours for an adult)  2. Exercise regularly  3. Eat more antioxidants (brightly colored fruits & veggies)  4. RELAX!  5.  Laugh (of course my favorite!)

It has been a long time, but I am glad I am back!

Little things

Spending the day with the coolest people in my life – Vance and Kinzey.  How did I get so blessed?  My son and daughter enjoy their day to the fullest.  Waking up in good moods, watching funny cartoons, asking for a ’special breakfast” so we can eat together as a family.  They have an eager anticipation of what their day will bring.  With sparkles in their eyes they ask, “Mommy, where are we going today?”.  I love their enthusiasm and I love our life together.  I am constantly reminded by them to appreciate the little things.  Those little things are really cool to experience and I would not trade them for the world.

So, I need to stop blogging.  It is time to go play with Vance and Kinzey.  We have got bubbles to blow outside.  Remember it is the little things….

The day before

What do you do the day before a momentous birthday?  Actually most birthdays for me are mostly spent looking forward.  Forward to the upcoming year, dreams and goals.  I also briefly think of the past year and this one has been a doozy.  I changed careers, volunteered to chair an inaugural walk for food allergies in Virginia Beach, found out I had cancer, and enjoyed NYC with my husband & children for the first time.  Did the good outweigh the bad?  Absolutely!  Did I learn something new?  You bet!  Am I looking forward to being the big 4-0?  oh yeah!

Age is a state of mind.  When you have a six and a three year old, you can feel 12 playing hide n seek or 80 playing water guns.  Either way, there is no better feeling than to have two little people think you are the cat’s meow.  They both greet me after work with shouts of jubilation and hugs, sometimes fighting over who gets me first.  Whether I feel full of energy or not, they get 100% of me when I am home.  It is important to me to give them the gift of a mother.

I am blessed to have a wonderful mother and I am thankful that she gave birth to me, nurtured me, loved me every year of my life…..even when I was challenging.  I think that was between the age of 2 and 18.  She can giggle now when she watches Kinzey being spirited.  The look my mother gives me is priceless.  I will comment, “Yes, yes, I know, she is just like I use to be.”  My mother laughs.  I was the kind of child that ate soap, drew pictures on my bedroom walls, and swung from the chandelier in the dining room.  As a teenager I complained about curfew, sported a major attitude, and basically did enough in school to get by.  It was not until my freshman year at Old Dominion that I had a revelation.  My parents knew what the heck they were talking about and loved me  unconditionally.  Boy, did I miss them and boy, did I appreciate their support.  And I still do!

Well, here’s to my thirties, here’s to my forties, and so on.  I have faith that the best is yet to come!

Backpack blessing

Team Newsome just returned from church where Pastor blessed the children’s backpacks.  When Vance and Kinzey were asked if they were excited about school, they nodded their heads.  When Pastor asked if the parents were ready, Steve and I yelled a “WooHoo” and clapped.  My husband and I agree that WE are ready for summer to be over!!

During church, I kept on thinking about the teachers and caregivers that we give our children to…especially Vance’s teacher.  She takes on a big responsibility making sure he is safe with his severe peanut allergy.  Mrs. Nelson will be Vance’s first grade teacher.  I like her already, native of VB, 7 years experience, has two children, extremely type A organized and is excited to learn about allergies.

When I went back to work after Kinz was 1 1/2, I wanted to find someone better than me.  We found that in Elsa, who was our nanny and became a part of our family.  She is now married and expecting.  Dave and Elsa will be amazing parents!

Each year as our children go back to school, let’s all pray that our teachers keep them safe and engaged in the learning process.  They are our partners in our children’s schooling.

A New View

I read an article this summer from the Wall Street Journal.  “A New View, After Diagnosis” discusses a new  experimental group pyschotherapy where cancer patients learn  how to live between diagnosis and death.  I have attached the link to the article because I personally found it to be profound.

How do you find meaning, purpose, and acceptance when you will forever be changed  by the ugly “C” word?  It still startles me at times when I have a “oh yeah, I have cancer” moment.  I am a different person and that is ok.  I find myself to be more patient, loving, and maybe even a little bit smarter.  When you have a life altering event, you have choices.  Do I crawl up in a ball and fear?  Or do I live every day to the fullest with trust?

Being a child of God and a small piece of this amazing universe, we all have purpose and a legacy.  Some are more public than others, but no less important.  Ask yourself, what is my purpose?  I believe that once you can answer that question, you can handle any of life’s challenges.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203547904574276434196118914.html

My daughter is a princess!

Last Sunday, Grandmo treated Kinzey and me to a Princess Cruise on the Spirit of Norfolk.  It was sold out and it was quite an experience.  Before boarding, Kinzey had a photo op with six Disney princesses: Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine, Mulan, Pochantas, and Ariel.  We entered the ship and were seated at a prime location next to the dance floor.  The DJ played great music and we started a kid friendly buffet before sailing.  There were so many little girls dressed as their favorite princess!  It was adorable.

Each princess sang a solo and then mingled through the tables.  The princesses were so sweet and didn’t mind having their picture taken with every little girl on board.

It was very special watching my Kinzey laughing and just amazed with the show and the princesses.  Grandmo enjoyed too!

What the heck am I doing up so early?

Waking up at 3am with night sweats that’s what I am doing!  First, I feel like an old woman in menopause.  And for the record, I am not.  I am only going to be forty this year and I have been told by many sources that I “look good for my age”.  Wow, being called M’am was one thing but now this!  And such is life.  Things change, time moves on, and on and on.

I had a wonderful experience yesterday at Virginia Oncology.  I met two special people that are fighting cancer.  One has kidney cancer and the other lung cancer.  What brave, valiant people!  We had the opportunity to share our experiences and it was powerful.  The common denominator for all of us was FAITH.  Knowing that God was our strength, our protector, and our guide in this journey.  Believing that we can and will fight this disease with God’s help.  My prayers now include them along with their supportive families.  What a gift it is to have people put in your path that help you see God’s light and love.